In A Toxic Situation? As/ Before You Walk Out, Please Read!!

It’s very unpleasant when we desire love from the people closest to us and not receive it. We go above and beyond just so they can notice good in us!

For years I seek comfort and affirmation from a certain person in my life. I remember nights when tears and music put me to bed. I couldn’t understand why, and over time, I became angry. Few years ago I understood that they needed inner-healing and I myself needed to heal and let the past go in order to move forward (whew, challenging I tell you!) if I can just do a side-bar and put God on display for a minute! I was so furious at this person that we couldn’t have a conversation without me having walls up and believing they thought nothing good about me. I burned with rage! Most of my memories with them were painful, and even though we were close family, I felt disconnected from them. All throughout my time around them, I prayed and prayed and cried some more. I wanted things to change; I wanted to feel other emotions apart from anger/ bitterness. I wanted to truly love them. I had to heal and be freed. God broke things down to me step by step and worked on things in stages.
Last year we got a breakthrough! We are still healing and I still have to bite my tongue at times, breathe, decide to just not respond or walk away when I’m triggered to keep the peace, but things are a whole lot better than they were. I can genuinely laugh around them and have so much compassion for them! God did that!!!
And I know better will become best.

Here’s what I’ve learned… Do not depend on or await anyone to realize who you are, love, and treat you with respect, appreciate you or approve of you. Reality is, some may never… here’s the thing, you have to know who you are, respect, appreciate, approve of yourself and know your value! Know that you are valuable! You were made with wonder and deep love. – Psalm 139:14. God marveled at you when his eyes first met you!
People will treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. If you know yourself and know love, you won’t allow for others to treat you otherwise or turn you into a doormat or punching bag. If you stand up for yourself and some choose to walk away, DON’T feel guilty, in fact, feel better because you’ve just freed yourself from emotional leeches!

I do root for peace, harmony, and non-division, but sometimes you have to close the door on a relationship for a while to heal enough, before returning or for that person to be healed.
I love the prayer Jesus prayed on the cross “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” – Luke 23:33-34. Sometimes, it’s hard to pray this, but it’s selfless and produces change.

Here’s a challenge, though… pray inner healing and love for them as you walk away! Pray that God meets them wherever they are, and perform spiritual operation on them, cut away all that hinders them from becoming. That he opens their hearts and minds for transformation and be renewed.

Can we become a people that leave no man behind? If you’re freed and healed spiritually/mentally/ emotionally, reach out and touch the mentally/ emotionally challenged in your life…

I honestly believe that since we have God among us- nothing can be impossible if we just believe! God is moved by us genuinely loving one another, and when we love genuinely, we don’t give up easily on another. When I got saved, I got excited as I now have a privilege for my visions to come into fruition! I had/ have big dreams and hopes, and since He is a BIG God who makes things possible, I’m right where I needed to be, in the right company. And so, I laid my blueprints before him.
He says the prayers of a righteous person is powerful and effective, and if I don’t have something I should ask for it and so I ask and expect mind-blowing resulted.
(I live for the adrenaline rush of seeing or the thought of miracles, I do! 😆)

So Love, with God by our side we can accomplish anything we think up, omgosh this is so beautiful to think about!!! What are your desires for earth and people in your life/ circle/ workplace? I challenge you to bring your plans to God and watch him give you the strength and peace to carry it out.

Warfare Anyone?

Is anyone else going through an attack or has been? I want to first cheer you on, love, keep going! don’t quit! If you get too tired, rest, it’s okay to rest, then keep moving. If you fall, get up and keep going again. You will experience all sorts of emotions/ circumstances, however, they are nothing but mere distractions. Brush them off and let’s keep going. You are not alone. Our father is right here holding our hands taking us through. I know it’s ugly and gloomy right now but He will never ever leave us alone in it, forget about us or let us stay in it a day past the due date! I so love that about Him, He is so trustworthy! It’s almost over sis, hang in there! I thank God that each time you go through these seasons, you are being strengthened, and even more spiritually prepared for these attacks. And that one day you will begin to go through tests smiling with ease, you’ll be more content, praising and thanking Him joyfully- confusing the enemy.

I have learned to meditate on, pray, and believe the word even more during warfare. Worship/praise always reconnects me whenever I feel disconnected.

Share in this prayer below with me. 

Lord, I thank you that I’m never alone when I am walking through dark valleys. Thank you even for dark valleys because they teach me to trust you even more. They challenge me to be still and praise you when I can’t see anything. You say when trouble comes I should consider it great joy for tests allow for my endurance to grow. Thank you for the increase awaiting me on the other side. Thank you that I can still smile, depending on you to guide me along the best pathways and to comfort me. I have your word and peace to rest in when it gets so crazy and I start feeling frustrated, exhausted, anxious and drained. Gosh, You are awesome! I don’t have to be lead by my emotions. You are my anchor, my crutch. Thank you for breathing on me while I go through. I love you so much Lord, Amen!

Meditation: Psalm 23; 32:8 James 1:2-4 Eph 6:10-18

The Healing Found In Solitude And Prayer/ Forgiveness.

The very things some of us run from are the most important we NEED in our lives to function healthily.

  1. Solitude- “the state of being alone or kept apart from others. The quality or state of being alone or remote from society.” Solitude is very rewarding personally; here, we learn a lot about who we truly are. The loud voices of everyone else are silenced, and we are free to hear truths our spirits need to tell us. These truths give deep peace, joy, and inspiration. These truths calm all fears, doubts, and blow our minds. These truths make us feel that everything is possible and within our reach. They show us our true self: good, strong, passionate, compassionate, loyal, loving, merciful. We find ourselves in solitude.

We learn to identify, face, and conquer fears/ giants in the solitude. We face and overcome our uncomfortable, fearful, or scary past to move forward. We identify our battles in this place and learn how to fight! We identify healthy and unhealthy negative emotions: anger, malice, envy/jealousy, hate, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame. We are delivered and healed in solitude. We identify which voices we should listen to and which to walk away from.
God meets us in solitude.
Solitude is also a place where painful truths emerge, truths that some run from because it convicts, but hey when we are convicted, its purpose is to bring change, NOT to condemn us and make us feel guilty. As mentioned above, this is a voice you need to walk away from. The voice of Jesus gentle and lovingly convicts and leads us to make better choices. The voice of the enemy condemns us and make us feel bad about ourselves for not being perfect/ good enough; it pressures and weighs us down. Instead of heading for change, we sit and drown ourselves in sadness, depression, or even worst suicidal thoughts. Remember this truth; however, Jesus comes to give life and give it in abundance. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy!

Growth can be painful, but it can also be such a beautiful thing if only we open ourselves widely and welcome it.
When we grow, we stretch out of things that no longer fit us; we make way for new areas, new things to come into our lives. New blessings! New mindsets! New desires….
So see, solitude isn’t such a bad place. It’s actually a beautiful place to visit now and again. It frees us and gives us knowledge and wisdom so we can live confidently.
Some shun introverts believing we are too quiet and reserved, but extraverts and introverts balance each other here on earth.

2. Prayer
We live in a world now where it seems some of us can’t wait to throw another under the bus or penalize them for hurting us. We are so quick to make judgments, really forgetting that we aren’t much better, and if we are in a better place, it’s because of Jesus’ spirit. Forgiveness and compassion aren’t easily or quickly extended to others. People who hurt us or commit heinous crimes need prayer 2Xs more than persons who do not. We are quick to holler ”crucify him” okay, maybe not those exact words, but you get it… We are ready to turn our backs or throw them in jail and forget them, but it doesn’t and shouldn’t stop there. Don’t get me wrong, yes, stay away from hurtful people and lock away who needs to be, but PRAYER is most needed for them. Eph 6:12 says,” our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” These people are fighting demonic spirits that are influencing and giving them desires to do wicked things. They desperately need healing and deliverance.

We can’t cut the top off a tree leaving the root, and except it to stop growing, we have to uproot it, get rid of it period. (this is just an analogy, please don’t uproot trees lol, besides, they are needed to help us breathe healthy air). We can’t just lock them away and turn our backs thinking the problem is solved. We have to attack the root of problems in people to get rid of them, and spiritual problems call for prayer connection to our God. (Matt 17:21) I know our hearts are breaking, I know we lost our loved ones, but hatred, unforgiveness, and revenge won’t solve anything, beloved! This only continues a negative cycle. Unforgiveness is a heavy burden to carry around.
I know it’s HARD to even think of praying for them, but forgiveness and humility are some of the greatest weapons to combat with. When we approach situations like this, it moves the hand of God, who is already fighting our battles and says vengeance is his. He can take care of it better than we can imagine. This brings healing for both you and the other. I pray in Jesus name that he first gives you comfort, then a desire and strength to forgive a pray for whomever wronged you and, or your family. I pray that you’ll let go and feel nothing but compassion for their soul and hope that they, too, are reconciled with God and will make better decisions. As I’m writing this, I strongly feel that someone needed that.
Our enemies need prayer too! See, look at it as one bad soul down, some more to go. God wants us all reconciled to himself. So many goodnesses are found in his arms! Oh, he loves us so very, very much! He calls us to change/ restore us to how he created us from beginning so he can then reconcile others to him through us, but this can only be done in love.

Solitude and praying for people who wrong us aren’t the most comfortable to do, but they bring about drastic changes! Overall, prayer conquers everything! It is a necessity! It keeps us close to God!

God, are you sure you have no favorites??

You make me feel like the only person in the world that you love, care about and has given your whole heart to.
You assure me everyday through your mercy that there’s nothing, for me, you will not do!
Thinking about you, thinking about me makes me wish I could dissolve in you,
That’s how much your love for me, has me falling in love with you!

You check on me all day, everyday, smothering me with your awesome presence
My heart is full of praise; my eyes are swollen from tears. I’ve never felt so complete until acknowledging your existence.

But, remember that day you called my name, I couldn’t answer because I was lost? You left all you were doing, all who you were with so I could find you on the cross.
You gave your life for mine; your blood is now my sweet wine, your body the bread that I eat.
Your spirit comforts me, your hands leading me, and your word is now my pillow when I sleep.
So, though there are many sheep, many mouths to feed as you tend to them one by one,
You’re always with me, forgive my being naive when I say you have favored me.

Love, your favorite one.

What If Your Answer To God’s Call Could Save Your Family?


An In-law of mine ( I call him my brother) just lost a cousin that was very close to him. I know it hurts a lot! I can’t imagine the pain he is in, my heart breaks for him and the rest of the family.

On the afternoon I got the news I asked God why he happened to be going through so much loss and heartaches, (he had another cousin died earlier in the year and had also told me about another one who died in a car accident few years ago- so all crossed my mind as I mourned with him) as I questioned the Lord, these thoughts came to mind.

Our obedience and relationship with God helps a lot with what goes on around us and within our families. When we turn to God, we are also interceding for our loved ones and standing for them. YOU might be God’s chosen, its not just about you when he calls but for us to intercede on behalf of others. He calls us to bless us, to save our families/friends, to use us as vessels to break chains and yokes off others. Your family members/ friends are tied to you, and them to others, so encourage them to draw close to God as well. What if you could stop or make things less harsh for someone else? There are so many goodies attached to the call from God…it teaches us to be selfless, it teaches us what genuine love looks like.

I read in the book ‘Elijah Among Us‘ where God used the author- John Sanford to intercede on behalf of his family and through his obedience God SAVED his son. ….”Another instance where God’s word of knowledge brought protection to our loved one involved Loren himself. He worked between semesters in the silver, lead and zinc mines… At the time, he was working 7,500 feet below the ground. One day, I had a sense of danger and said, “what is it, Lord?” He gave me knowledge through a mental picture of Loren in a stope, which is a step-like excavation formed by the removal of ore from around a mineshaft. A huge boulder was tumbling down from high above. I knew if it hit him, it would kill him. I cried out, “Lord, get him out of the way!” That night I told Loren what I had seen. He said, “Yeah, dad, that’s exactly what happened today. I don’t know how it missed me, but it did.” God gave me this vision of danger because he wanted to save my son and knew I would pray.”

God told him what was getting ready to happen and lead him to pray. His son were to meet death, but, through his connection to God, He was able to speak to John and his son walked away without being injured.

I have a personal story of my own, well, that happened in my family. God gave my dad a vision of my brother (who wouldn’t take heed no matter how many times my dad and I told him about his bike, and to be honest, we were fearful because so many young men in the district were dying from bike accidents and we did not want him to be one.) that he would get into a terrible accident and lead him to pray. Days later my dad called and give me the news that my brother broke his arm in a bike accident. He told me that God had given him a vision and that he had prayed, hearing this I began praising God, then I heard my father said “it should’ve been his neck” I stopped for a deep minute of silence, moments later my praise turned into praise and tears of joy. Thanking God so much, for looking out for my family! My brother’s neck should’ve been broken according to the vision, but my father’s connection to God helped him intercede for his son whom walked away without fatal injuries.

So you see, being close to God has many wonderful benefits, including saving the lives of our loved ones (but I’m sure you already know this). My father does not take credit for my brother’s life being saved. We know that God and we are his vessels, I even believe that HE even allowed us to respond and say YES to him. Our obedience in getting up in the middle of the night or whenever we are lead to pray, rewards us more years with our loved ones and closer to God. Your obedience to God’s call and or obedience will blow your mind! You never know who is standing in prayer for you… Answer and stand for your families too.

God has been calling my brother-in-law for sometime now and I believe that If he had answer the call, God would’ve probably given him knowledge of what was getting ready to happen and lead him to pray. At the same time, when God gives US (people like you and me) this knowledge, we can also intercede for people like my brother-in-law (and others like this in your life) and ask God to stir their spirits, open their ears and lead them to answer his call and be reconciled to Him.

God is sooooo faithful and good to us! I love him so so much!!! I know someone who would use the phrase “off the chains” when something is incredible or huge in amount whether it be a delicious meal or the actions of another… ‘God is off the chains y’all!!!’

2Chron 30:9 “For if you return to the Lord, your relatives and your children will be treated mercifully by their captors, and they will be able to return to this land. For the Lord your God is gracious and merciful. If you return to him, he will not continue to turn his face from you.”


Beauty is more than just an outward appearance. Beauty begins on the inside. Beauty is working on our inner person. Beauty is speaking kindly and consistently transforming our minds to think purely and see good in everyone, no matter their flaws or what their attitudes say. Colossians 3:13 says to make allows for each others flaws.

Everyone has struggles, and I believe everyone is due for awakening one day…spiritual awakening, if we are open. So, if you’ve already been awakened, you’ll understand inner beauty or the joy in working towards it.
You’ll also understand that if a person responds ’ugly,’ they too might yet to be awakened; your response- to be patient and gentle with them.

We are no better than others simply because we’ve been elevated. We are healed and delivered because of God’s love, compassion and grace, not because of our own efforts! God says all good things come from him… James 1:17, Psalm 16:2. Therefore when he helps us, we should now begin an ongoing cycle of helping others.
Being healed and delivered means we are in better states mentally and spiritually and emotionally enough to respond from a compassionate place. My father taught me that ”if we treat/ talk to a person like an animal, they will respond like one.” So, if we speak kindly and gently, others will respond kindly and gently, and, even if they attack us verbally, we can choose to respond gently. ’A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’ Prov 15:1 (NIV)

I’m learning that life has so many pockets and creases waiting to be filled with just the right things and with the proper approach. Beautiful treasures, lessons learned here, and there or little trinkets.
If we have become advanced in areas such as wisdom, growth, or possessions, we can choose to use what we’ve been given wisely and to help build others up… To get where we are or even further.
• If we have wisdom, we can use it to respond to others and life’s circumstances in a healthy way. God will reveal things to us, he will open our eyes and give us understanding. How we use what he reveals is up to us! God shows me inwardly, people that I am surrounded by; he shows me their struggles and areas in which they need inner-healing. That’s knowledge! I can either pray for that person as God leads, then act in humility and endurance until they are healed, freed and delivered… or forget that I’m not more important than they are and judge and criticize them for being or responding mean and ugly right now. Matthew 7 says not to judge, though… and that the same standard we judge others by, we will be judged.

• Personal growth- we can share our experiences and how they’ve helped us overcome, so others can apply it where it’s necessary for their tests, trials, or afflictions. At times we are afraid or ashamed of being transparent because we fear being judged, but I’ll tell you that there is liberty in not caring what other people think and putting the focus on caring about the well-being of another instead. It’s not about our feelings! If being transparent will help someone else then be transparent!! At the end of the day you are not who and what people say and think you are! You are who God says you are! You know yourself better than others, stop giving people permission to label you and have control over you!

• Material possessions- we can choose to give back! Let us be reminded that our actions are the outpouring of God’s love operating within us. If we see a neighbor in need of food or clothing but say ”have a good day; stay warm and eat well” without giving them something to eat or wear, that does no good. God blesses us so that we can bless another. James 2: 15-16

When we become prosperous, it’s not for us to look down on the needs of others unless it is to help them up. Don’t poke in people’s downfall unless it is to pray for or encourage them. Everything we have comes from God, even authorities to make changes/decisions. Rom 13:1
Do we not know that God can give our successes to the same person (s) we are gossiping about or laughing at??
Love, we should not forget where we were before we got to where we are, I think it’s important to remember because it reminds us of our own discomfort when we too were at that place. Therefore, we can identify with the discomforts of others and assist in ways we can. We are taught, helped and comforted to pass on to others.

Inner beauty is such a powerful possession!


Photo by Ryan Epps on

Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. 2Tim 2:4

Don’t get entangled in the messes/ life issues/ sins of others when God sent you there to help them get out of it! You were sent there fully equipped, spiritually with all they need, and to be a light, DO NOT become who God send you to bail out.

As witnesses, it’s our duty to bring forth change by BEING the change. Sometimes, this will be very uncomfortable for us. You will feel like you’re being walked over, you will be forced to remain humble when you want to reach over and snap a neck or pull the very hairs off your head! But grace, huh! 🙂. Remaining strong and humble takes great discipline but I admire the fact that it’s God’s spirit doing all the work and we are like VIP’s sitting upfront watching him transform our lives before our eyes.
Yes, the actions of who you are sent among might, and will be very challenging! You will be challenged to become the very person God sends you to reconcile, deliver, convict, heal, or free but resist the urge to become. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against…evil spirits…. Eph 6:12. But, greater is in you! As soldiers and children of God, we are to remain gentle, firm and rooted in who we are in Christ- so that we can carry out each assignment.

So, if someone argues with you, stay humbled. If they treat you bad, treat them better. If they gossip about you, pray for them. If their attitude sickens you, it’s okay you weren’t sent there to judge anyway but to help them. Love on them, show compassion, be forgiving, walk away when you have to- clear your head, then step back in the ring.
Prayer is your most important weapon! Pray always for coverage, strength, direction, clarity, resistance, endurance, patience, and to be refreshed while you’re praying or standing for the other. Remember, the battle isn’t yours to fight. You are just the vessel God is using. Also, don’t get weary and abort your assignment, you will reap a harvest if you don’t give up- Gal 6:9. That soul is depending on your obedience. Not only will you help a soul, but that person’s family! I love that when God works it’s not just for one but for all!

If you get entangled, you will no longer be in a position to hear directly from God! Your emotions will now become involved; you will be moved by what you see, no longer operating in faith, you will respond in your flesh, and eventually, you will start serving their gods or worshiping their idols- by doing the same things they do/ are doing, the very thing you were sent to rid them of or help them with and you will no longer pleasing God. In the end, you will have failed to carry out your assignment, and that person will either stay the same or get worst.

Stand firm, stay focused and don’t get entangled. #ExperiencedSpeaking


…and the Good New is….
Christ lives in you! You have the mind of Christ! Which means you’re pure, you’re righteous, you are Holy, you are victorious. You have a great heart, a wonderful personality, you are awesome! You’re healed, you’re rich! You are worthy; worth more than you think! You are whole! You are full of joy, hope, comfort, forgiveness, grace and peace. You are respected! You are the head and not the tail! You are above and not below! You are the lender, not the borrower! You are blessed!

You are no longer what your own flesh or the enemy whispers that you are. You are not unkind, selfish, unfaithful, envious, bitter, a mistake, unforgiving, greedy, you are not ‘uneducated’, you are not broke! YOU ARE LIGHT! YOU ARE SALT OF THE EARTH!
“Here on earth, you will experience trials and sorrows but take heart, I have overcome the world” -John 17:33
No matter what’s going on around us or within our thought-life. It’s not about how we feel or what we see but what we know! What God’s word says! Greater lives in us than who is in the world.

So brush off that temporary feeling and cast your emotions on Jesus. Don’t be intimidated by the now, he is right there with us and our future is in his hands.

Know who you are! We are children of God! See, the way we see ourselves contributes a lot to our personal growth, our situations and our walk with God. See yourself through His eyes. We have the mind of Christ, surrender to the daily transformation it leads.

Meditation: Isaiah 43:2 John 4:4 Matt 5:14-16

Feeling Like You’re Not Enough? Feeling Condemned?

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Most times I have to encourage myself in the Lord because my mind goes on trips that I have to reel it back from, constantly. I have a past of struggles with depression and self-esteem issues- if you notice I said past, because I’ve decided to walk in the newness of my mind daily in Jesus. I have the mind of Christ and daily it is manifesting no matter how I feel, what I hear or see.
Some of these trips lead me to self blame and feeling guilty and whenever I engage in them, things head downhill from there. I’d throw pity parties, feel like a victim and eventually I’d feel defeated. Now there are times when we will be victims- take Job’s story for example- and times when we’ll have weak moments and have to cry because tears heal, but we have to be careful.

The enemy move around looking for who he can attack, during these times we are vulnerable and he is just right there ready to hold our hands and lead us down dark paths. One weak moment is all it takes to slowly break the door open to feeling unloved, unwanted, unappreciated, and become pessimistic. The bible tells us to guard our hearts.
Now, I’m all for acknowledging our emotions, dealing with them and putting them in a better light instead of ignoring them! I mean, they are apart of us. However, we are not to be lead by them! We cannot allow our emotions to dictate to us. During times when I’m moody or just having a bad day, I call on Jesus to guard my heart. Or, I’ll go for a walk and connect with nature.

A short prayer during these times, “Lord, I’m moody (whatever emotions you’re feeling) I don’t want to ignore the way I am feeling so I invite you here with me. I know by you being here, you will comfort me, dry my tears, heal me, love and lead me out whenever it’s time. Thank you for being here with me during this hard time.”

I wholeheartedly believe in inviting Jesus in every area of our lives. The good, the bad and the times when we make unwise decisions. You know, those times when you get yourself into a relationship you shouldn’t be in, out of need for comfort, or that job you took out of desperation, or when God says be humble and stay quiet but ‘nuh-uh, they don’t know who they dealing with, I’m bout to show who I am’… yeah girl, those foolishness we engage in when we didn’t want to wait. Now we are unhappy in this relationship, heart broken or miserable on that job. BUT GOD!
I personally view Jesus running toward us when we mess up, especially when we get ourselves into trouble. I have 2 young nieces that I adore, omgosh! The youngest is almost 2, she like the sour patch candy, she will give you gray hair before your time, okay. But she’s her own little person, with a very sweet side. My other niece, 6, I’ll just say we get along better lol. Whenever they cry, say, because they didn’t listen and end up getting hurt, the minute they rush to me with tears streaming down their little cheeks I can’t turn away as much as I’m tempted to say “you should’ve listened.” … okay, I say it sometimes. But, I immediately open my arms, pick them up and comfort them with hugs and kisses. That’s how I view Jesus with me whenever I mess up. I run to him, jump in his arms as he comforts me with hugs, kisses and words of affirmation. This view leads me to feeling closer to him in my own special way instead of further away from him.

But, it’s during the dry seasons, the weak moments, the lonely times, that we should be vigilant. It’s these times that pull the authentic us, who we truly are to the surface. They test and stretch us, and we either break, get stronger, or be molded into our true selves. When we focus on our situations and feelings instead of Jesus, our thoughts stray, and that’s what I want to talk about.

Condemning thoughts and feeling inadequate plagues the mind and drains us. We fight these by encouraging ourselves in the Lord, speaking what the word says about us. Remember, We are not fighting against flesh (self)-and-blood (others) enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Eph 6:12 NLT

I used to fight by “doing” something to FEEL approved and accepted by God. I’d hear “I’m not doing enough, I’m not good enough, God is not pleased with me.” These thoughts weighed me down and sometimes hindered me from praising, and giving thanks, and quiet time. I would feel guilty or self-convicted when I open my bible to the point where days would pass without really studying. Instead, I would focus more on blogging doing “good works” to fill the emptiness -to feel approved and ‘enough.’
– The truth is, I am not good enough, but I had to fight those thought with God’s Grace! His grace caused Jesus to die for me so that I can be enough through his spirit that lives inside of me and because of that God is pleased with me. Eph 2:8
– I will never do enough in my own efforts because it is God that is working within me giving me desires to do what pleases him then helping me to obey these desires. I will do good works through him. Phil 2:13. Eph 2:10

I don’t have to lean on me anymore and I’m glad because I’m too heavy! My own burdens are too heavy for me to carry. The thoughts of the old me, my past are too heavy and can become discouraging without Jesus.
Whenever these thoughts come (and they will) I throw them off because it’s not about how I feel anymore but what I know and I know that It’s not by might nor by power but it is by God’s Holy Spirit that lives in me and leads me. Zech 4:6 I don’t focus on what is behind but what is before me. Phil 3:13
Whatever area I need help in, I can pray and wait patiently and confidently for God to deliver. Rom 8:24-25 I know that the good work (of obedience and living for him) that he has started in me, he will complete it. So, I can be still knowing that he alone is God. I don’t have to strive and rush in my own efforts I can rest in him and obey his leading. I know that He is in love with me like crazy  and absolutely nothing can separate this love. My walk isn’t perfect but I can rejoice every single day I wake up, because it is a day that my God, the lover of my soul, planned for me and I will be glad in it walking with him holding my hands. You are enough! The grace of God and the blood of Jesus makes us enough!

Meditate on what God says and encourage yourself: Isaiah 43:1-4; 55:8-9. Phil 4:8

Finding Beauty In The Slow!

I am a slow processor, I process information, experiences, moments slowly. I enjoy this as I get to savor moments. Sometimes I honestly believe it’s unhealthy as I end up overthinking or worse, procrastinating. I used to feel different for being “slow” you know, when everyone else gets the joke and 10 mins later you’re like “ohhhh, then you die laughing” (not literally dead). Or 40 mins later on the way home you finally get it. How about during a conversation with someone that goes south and you want to stand up for yourself or help that person to truly understand your point, the next day 5 thoughts of what you ‘could have said’ comes strolling in. Yeah, I’ve been there! But I’m starting to accept that slow part of me because it’s beautiful. I enjoy stopping to smell roses/flowers or taking pictures whenever I am walking. Days when I relax having a glass of grape juice and savoring the taste or walking slowly and really feeling the coolness of the breeze on my skin or the connection with the earth under my bare feet. Yes, I love nature and one has to slow down in order to appreciate, enjoy and connect with it. It’s healing and very therapeutic!

This morning I came outside to enjoy some fresh air and gaze at this huge tree that’s almost in my mom’s backyard (it’s a sight to see, at least to me- smile) it’s speaks so much of strength and power. It’s the tallest tree on our street and at least 3 streets over. As I sat on the red steps I glanced over to my left and saw a few snails and immediately I was inspired! I thought about these MOLLUSCS  and how important they are despite being slow. They exist with us and some may count them out or write them off as nothing and useless but there’s wisdom and power in their “slow” existence and what they teach. Apart from how much we do get to see from slowing down, we can savor and appreciate every single one of those areas. We can freely enjoy the experiences life gives to us. We don’t always have to rush like a road runner. When we rush things, we miss out on creating moments and then enjoying them. Of course, I’m not saying to waste time; we should make haste and do what we have to. Psalm 119:60 “I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” Whenever we are instructed to do something or we know to do something we should get it done, we feel better rested because that task gets crossed off our ‘to do list’ now we can add more or rest.

Personally I love that I can cruise through without rush, holding on to the hands of Jesus. I can pause and spend time capturing moments and share them with him as we go. These bring great joy to the depths of my soul. Whether it is from praising him when I’m eating a fruit that is naturally sweet or how it’s beautifully decorated, to thanking him for allowing me to be at the right place at the right time to help someone with something as small as turning on a ‘new fashion’ faucet.

I’ll share some quotes and advantages of being “slow” below that I researched as I sat.

According to a post on WordPress, the writer says: ~ Being a slower learner often means that you end up digging deeper into a subject in order to understand it. Like walking to your destination instead of driving you tend to notice and appreciate the scenery more, when taking more time to learn something you will often notice more of the details…

~ You can find yourself critically analyzing and exploring a subject more in depth, often without even realizing it, than the person who has raced to the finish line without stopping to take a look at the scenery along the way.

~ You are able to look at things from different angles, be more creative with your ideas, be more flexible and adapt to changes more easily, this is easier to do when moving more slowly than when racing past.

Quotes: “No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying”

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop”

“Keep going. Progress is progress no matter how slowly you are making it.”

“Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.”

“Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.”

“Small moves can have huge gains.” -Jane Lee Logan

“Time sometimes flies like a bird, sometimes crawl like a snail; but a man is happiest when he does not even notice whether it passes swiftly or slowly.”

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.” – Charles Spurgeon

I love this one “she knew where she wanted to go and came to trust that steps rather than speed, is the way she wanted to get there.”

These blessed my soul as I sometimes feel me rushing spending more intimate time with Jesus to getting work/ ministry done. While doing is great, spending time with Jesus is best! I’m often reminded though of Mary and Martha. Martha was busy with chores/ work while Mary was busy sitting at Jesus’s feet. Neither are wrong , it’s just that Jesus said Mary found something that will never be taken away from her. She was storing up heavenly treasures by learning more about her Savior. This way she will be able to identify His voice in encouraging and complimenting her, sharing his thoughts and heart with her, even more during difficult stormy times when she really need his peace. Spending time can seem like wasting time doing nothing but oh how our souls become blessed, our spirits become firm and we become rich in trust. My biggest fear in slowing down and spending more intimate worship time with Jesus (silly girl, spending time with Jesus does not hinder you, lol) or enjoying life was that I’d get comfortable (lazy) and get lured away from fulfilling his purpose and calling on my life, but Jesus assured me that He is my anchor. Therefore, It’s impossible to be lazy living in the peace and presence of God! Living in his presence leads me to fulfilling purpose. Whew, what a relief!

Don’t feel different for being a bit slower than others. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus knew what he was doing when he knitted you in your mother’s womb. Use your quiet time to ask, or allow your spirit to guide you to finding out your beauties in being slow. I bet He will blow your mind!!!

Supporting Scriptures Proverbs 19:2 “Desire without knowledge is not good— how much more will hasty feet miss the way!” NIV

Proverbs 21:5 “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” NIV