Prayer Heals… God Heals…

I suffered depression for over five years, cried myself to sleep many nights, felt sad, tired, and defeated most of the time. Some days it was so hard to get out of bed, go to work or just show up/ exist for the day. Not many understood my pain or would understand even if I explained as not everyone is open to the fact that mental illness is a thing. Also, you have to experience it to truly know what it’s like.

Introverts, as some of you know, enjoy being by themselves. It’s not that we don’t like the company of others. But during this time, I didn’t want to be around anyone- at all!
I even contemplated suicide.
Excitement wasn’t a thing or a word in my vocabulary! It’s almost like a heavy dark cloud followed me around all the time. My body/ shoulders were always tensed, and I viewed most of my emotions in a harmful and unhealthy way, even when they were healthy and okay as a being.

I struggled to find joy and peace. As a lover of nature, being outside helped me but to a small extent and a small amount of time.

I remember crying out to God many times, after forming a relationship with him- that he helped me created- that I was unhappy, drained, heavy, and exhausted 99 percent of the time. I wanted control of my mind back. I needed inner peace, joy, calm, etc. I was tired of being depressed and wanting to give up.
While I was encouraging everyone else through writing (and my blog), praying for, and with everyone else, I was secretly drowning in tears and pain. Still, I depended on him to rescue me even when it seemed nothing was happening. 😢

Last year (as I did the year before) I asked Him for a mindblowing birthday gift (yes, I’m particular and open with him and what I desire, he’s literally the best friend and spiritual father I could ever ask for). It was the week of my birthday; while talking with someone about struggles, with anxiety and depression, I noticed that something was different. I no longer resonated with “depression” it was as if it no longer existed in my life.
I realized then that I had been entirely healed of depression!!! You can imagine my emotion… I cried so hard sitting in the parking lot of my sister’s empty car. I was overwhelmed with many different emotions; shocked, joyful, surprised, and in awe.

My hope, joy, and peace were restored.
Inner healing in other areas had begun.

God is so faithful and wants to help us more than we can imagine and understand.
I called on him when I was in a challenging place. He heard and answered me. Today, though I still struggle with anxiety, I don’t worry because that too shall pass.

Whatever your struggles are, God can and will help you. Cry if you have to, vent when you feel like but don’t dismiss your emotions. They are apart of you! He will come to your rescue. It may take a while but don’t give up. Invite him in your present situations. He initiates a relationship with us, we need only to be open and receptive.
Prayer changes things!

Don’t be ashamed about your struggles love, it might be what someone else is waiting to hear, and know that they aren’t alone.

Published by Stephanie

Hello, my name is Stephanie! It is my desire for souls to know Jesus personally; To be freed, uplifted, affirmed, and healed through our Savior. Know that you are loved so much! You have so much worth! You ’belong’ even if the world rejects and sees you as nothing! Despite what people around you, or even what your thoughts say about who you are, Jesus's truth is all that matters, and you are precious to him! Here is a bit of my story! I've been oppressed and ’held captive’ in my own mind for many years! I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. I had low self-esteem, not knowing my own worth. I chased after love, affirmation, attention, and a need to feel wanted- in relationships, to finding fulfillment in things. I didn't know how to love myself or how to receive love! I was sad most of the time to the point where I contemplated suicide twice. Deep inside, I felt a little girl full of joy, harmony, and peace who wanted freedom, and to live a fulfilled life; she was trapped inside. In late 2014 Jesus literally called out to me... and told me I would be okay. I committed my life to him in 2016. Since then, so much has happened! I've been finding shelter under his wings, and my mind is continually being renewed by his truth spoken to and about me. I have found and is still amazed by his perfect, unconditional love for me that follows me daily. I have found a secured relationship that attends to every area of my life. My journey started out rough, but it is BEAUTIFUL! It gets rocky and uncomfortable at times, but it is one filled with lessons, wonder, and crazy peace! It's apart of our walk. I am still healing (I view it as a life long process) some days I take a step forward only to take two backward but I now know to not depend on my strength even during healing as I am never alone. There are also many that I am unlearning and detoxing from my spirit that I grew up learning about. I have opened myself to allowing God to use me as I am, as an outlet to reach his precious ones. The purpose of my blog is to encourage a sincere and intentional relationship with Jesus! To help strengthen our faith and walk in him. To heal, uplift, and remind women of who God says we are. To walk in his identity- in hopes that you will know without a doubt that you matter much more than you can understand! I openly share my testimonies and personal experiences. I mean, it's a bit easier to speak and share from experiences. I firmly believe you will be blessed! Find yourself, find your path, and embark on this beautiful journey of life resting in God. Love, it's perfectly okay to be authentic- about where you are in every area of your life- in a world that forces us to mask our emotions and ’put the best forward, so people can ”see and think” we’ve got it all together.’ It's okay to NOT have it all together. Be true to yourself; this is an important step in being completely honest with our Lord.

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