We have personally experienced so much of the prodigal son’s story on our journey. Upon realizing, we beat ourselves down without realizing the grace and love that Jesus used to return us back to his arms and a state of mental peace without actually condemning us.
It’s really us overwhelm ourselves with unkind thoughts and words instead of being gentle and patient with ourselves enough to see that we can just run back to Jesus and surrender control to him every singe time we mess up, seventy times seven, and not be in the trouble we think we are in.
I’m currently in a position where I’m depending on God to change a specific situation for me. At times, I allow anxiety and fear brings me to a place where I take control without realizing or intentionally try to take control. At times, I get curious. Should my curiosity lead me to a roadblock or detour, I find that I sometimes worry instead of running to my savior without feeling like I’m in trouble and get hard on myself.
I am learning to be okay with my curiosity because wherever it takes me, God is there as well. Ever since I became open to this thought, it’s been even more wonderful!
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. – Psalm 139:8
This morning while drinking a bowl of cereal, I’m reminded that I can go to him anytime, whether in the middle, beginning, or end of any situation, and give him total control without beating myself up for waiting too long or fear that he is angry with me because just like the prodigal son’s father, he will welcome me back with open arms and crazy love! Gosh, he loves us so very much!
You see, in the recent past, I would go to him and repent but not without feeling bad- not in a convicted sense- but more of a ”girl, what is wrong with you, why you keep messing up?” and not before isolating myself due to fear that God was angry with me or that he will be. But this only kept me away from him, away from talking with him, away from peace.
He really is a God of love and the more we see him as that and less of a God of wrath we will experience a deeper love and closeness toward him.
My desire is to remind you that you too can run to him no matter how deep you are in your own stuff, without feeling ashamed or condemned. Romans 8:1 reminds us that there are now no condemnation for those who belong to Christ, so throw off whatever is holding you back and might be causing you to isolate and run to our loving God let him wash you in his peace and remove whatever burdens you.