Have you been going through a phase where you haven’t been feeling very motivated recently due to feeling exhausted mostly? Not very optimistic or positive, not inspiring or being inspired, feeling low in energy/ spirit, not very content, this minute you’re calm and the next you’re not! You keep crying out, and it seems like our Lord is nowhere insight… You stand on,” I will never leave you not forsake you- Joshua 1:5- with all your heart, but you still feel alone.
Whew, even typing all that was heavy! Loves, I’ve been there, and I can’t say sometimes it doesn’t try to revisit me.
A few months ago, I felt like I was in what seemed to be a never-ending storm. I had just gotten my job, and I found myself saying I can’t even rejoice daily about it. This was my plan before acquiring it, to praise my King due to being overjoyed. But there were inner turmoil! My MIND started racing; a lot of changes began taking place. At home, things went from being me, my mom and step-dad, and enjoying quiet alone time, to having 7 people in the house. I had lost my bedroom and every ounce of privacy I had. I was trying to get an apartment, but things didn’t work out, we were in COVID-19, so all was under stress, I wasn’t praying, reading, or having regular devotions anymore. Y’all I WAS SUPER STRESSED!!!! I love peace, calm, and quiet. I recharge in solitude and wasn’t able to get that anymore. I was challenged, and as a slow processor, it took me some time to embrace the changes and become content where I now was at.
All during trying to cope, I noticed being very sensitive emotionally. I found myself snapping quickly. Where did my peace and patience go? I felt like I had just started settling in inner calm and understanding that order is really an inner thing, and what the Bible says about the peace of God is different from the world’s peace. I cried so much! Almost every other week!
One day God allowed me to see that he has always been there with me. He used my storms to show me that no matter what I can see, he is in control and when I feel like yes this is it, I’m defeated with nowhere to turn; he is my only source. HE is MY GOD!
I started experiencing great inner peace, going to the park wasn’t mostly about reading or praying anymore, I could genuinely enjoy me-time even if I just wanted to sit and stare. In a full house, I had calm, rest, and was able to quiet my thoughts. I had started experiencing a different version of myself; tolerance, understanding, and endurance. I noticed I had balance, something I had been craving! He was here…. I understood that he loves me first as his daughter before his servant. He accepted me as human; it was okay not to have it all together. So many things and areas were changing in the storm! Amazing things were happening in the storm. I went from wanting my own space and to leave so bad, to enjoying my family’s companies and being content. This wasn’t a bother anymore. I began genuinely healing on the inside. It’s funny how you can be totally calm in the midst of chaos. Only Jesus can do this! Looking back over my season, I loved every moment of it. I didn’t know it would turn out to be a lesson, but I’ve learned reliance on God on another level.
We get so hard on ourselves if we, in our human strength, aren’t doing the most. Hasn’t been reading, praying, studying, doing ministry, or being productive. This is exactly what the devil or our own minds use to condemn us making us feel guilty. The Bible says so many times that we shouldn’t rely on our strength.
Not by might not by power but by my spirit- Zech 4:6
The story of the promise he made to Abraham and Sarah tried to bring it to fruition by human hands, using Hagar. – Gal 4:21-31
Not to lean on our own understanding, Look around, are experiencing trauma. The entire world! We are human! Everyone is stressed out! So if we are thrown off what used to be normal for us, maybe God wants us to use this time to take us to another level of trust in him. To not rely on ourselves or works to get us into heaven or stay in his presence. Maybe he wants us to pay more attention to the fact that he is in control, turn to him for everything!
Even if you have a job, rely on me as your source, not your paychecks!
I am the one who will meet you in your devotions and reading and teach or show you how to worship and praise me. Stop relying on your strength. It will fail you.
Maybe he is showing us HOW to be for him! He is for us; therefore, he has to show us how to be for him.
If you’re going through a storm or series of storms right now, stop looking at your storm! Relax! Rest! Make your request known unto Him. What specifically do you want him to do for you to help you with? What are you anxious about?
It’s hard to see God in the deep of troubles, but he promises to be there with us- Isaiah 43:2
I learn even more than I believed before, that no matter how deep in I am and really can’t see or hear him, to not rely on how I feel but to trust like never before that he is right beside me. TRUST, TRUST!!! This faith walk isn’t easy. So many things are in place to trip us up, but keeping our eyes on Jesus and not ourselves is vital guys. What I mean is taking our focus off our troubles, shifting our minds to whatever brings us joy (Phil 4:8-9) by doing this, we are saying,”I leave it in your hands and I trust you, Lord.”
Are you still exhausted? I want you to acknowledge your state and be okay with it because wherever God’s spirit is, we know there is freedom. So if your heaviness hasn’t shifted, beloved, repeat this,” I am OKAY.” Not ’I will be okay,’ but ’I am’ because he is with you NOW! Be confident in knowing it. Romans 8:24-25 ”if we have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.”
Even writing this post, I’m very low in energy, not very motivated even though I’m very passionate about encouraging others, helping to experience inner peace, and have inner rest, especially mentally. But, I know I just need to start writing, and the words will come. Taking my mind off me; I trust My Lord to show up.