Relax, Unwind, and Detox
Have you recently been through a rough patch, or maybe even not so recent? A trauma you didn’t heal from completely? Whether a divorce, separation from a loved one, health issues or bad relationship experience, abuse (emotionally or physically) or something that was difficult to handle. I want to say to you that it’s okay to take time for yourself, relax, unwind, and do a detox. Get yourself back to a healthy state/ well-being. Some of us run to different things to take our minds off what we’ve just been through in order to avoid the pain due to it being so difficult or just run from facing it period because there’s so much to do from repairing things to starting over but what that does is slowly paralyze us in the very areas we’ve been hurt.
For example, someone you trusted entirely, always sharing your deepest fears or personal information with, betrayed you. You found out, and unfortunately, you now have to keep that person at a distance when it comes to talking with them moving forward. If you don’t face the discomfort heartbreak caused and heal from that crack, it can cause you keep everyone else at a distance, shielding your heart from letting others in. You will, in turn, end up missing out on future healthy friendships.
3 years ago, I met and married a young man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. 6 months later, we separated, and 4 months after the separation, the divorce he filed for came through. Devastated was an understatement! For the first few months I has a series of headaches. However, though this was traumatic, I didn’t allow myself to slowly walk through the pain, facing every bit of it in order to heal correctly. I pushed myself to focus on other areas; I began to think for God. I thought I should focus on my personal relationship with Jesus as in focusing only on my purpose/ calling. So I religiously hid in God, pushing myself to pay attention mostly to the spiritual aspects of my life. Now, I did grow in these areas, and I did get closer to God, but I was drained. How can one be drained while spending time with our amazing God, right?!
You see, I should’ve dedicated time to relax and allow God to heal and minister to me, instead of busy trying to minister to others. He was no stranger to what I had just been through; he saw me from the very start of the argument with my ex-husband. I thought if I focused on my pain I would be slowing things down and wasting precious time, time I could use to do work for the Lord. Like I said, nothing is wrong with this because we all have a purpose to fulfill, it wasn’t the right time, however. My mind and heart was shattered, my spirit was broken and so I would’ve been ministering from a wounded place. I was empty but I thought I had to keep working (this stemmed from childhood experiences which I will write about in another post) regardless of how I felt (it’s not about how I feel but what I know to do! Oh boy, sometimes we can surely mess this phrase up in ‘Jesus’ name,’ adding unnecessary pressure to ourselves), and this drained me.
So here I was struggling to be restored, my soul wanted to rest in God as He healed me completely. While enjoying life! Writing, dancing, and speaking out would come naturally when he leads. But, my mind was telling me what it thought I should be doing, what seemed logical, and almost every thought was draining!!
If I had allowed myself to slow down, face my pain, heal and unwind, I wouldn’t have gotten myself into a draining and messy acquaintanceship due to wanting comfort and to feel wanted after feeling the rejection from my divorce. I felt unwanted by my ex-husband each time I would reach out and express my feelings and he wouldn’t reciprocate or want to reconcile. I went down a path I could have escaped. This, too, is for another post!
So, it’s okay to take as much time for yourself and heal properly after trauma, no matter how small. Your mind, soul/ spirit and body needs it! You need to heal and allow God to give you fully back to yourself before you give your wounded self to others. You will know when you’re healed enough to continue ministry or whatever else you need your whole self to do. But please, nurture YOU first. Others can wait… And no, this isn’t selfish; this is wisdom!