God, Use My Freedom For Your Glory (personal testimony)

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So, I am so very excited about this verse in Phil 2:13. This has been one of my favorites since 2017 and it made me a bit more excited this morning after reading it. My first understanding in 2017 was that God is will not only help me to want to do what He wants, but He will help me to get it done! I screeched! Loudly and with excitement like a little girl getting a new life-sized doll. ”what, you’re not only going to tell me what to do, you will help me- make me want to do it as if it came from my own intention!” God is amazing! This is awesome!

Now, this morning I read it again in my NLT version -after pondering somethings- Phil 2:13 ”For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” What stood out and excites me – a different understanding (isn’t it beautiful how you can read the same verse over and over and God can give you new understandings or revelations each time) is that He will give me the desire to do what pleases him. My definition of desire is ”something that burns within you; your heart and soul, you can’t resist it; you need it, have to have it or get it done.” His desires, however, will bring unimaginable peace to my soul. Our goal is to do what He wills, do what pleases Him. When I seek after God’s desires or even think of them, they make me feel complete; it feels just right, and doing them brings me deep satisfaction. He will plant things that please Him inside me, and I will know them without a doubt. I’m more so excited about him being pleased. My newest personal desire is to use my freedom to please Him! Reading a few lines below of what my story is (I will share one day) will help you understand my excitement!

You see, I’ve struggled greatly mentally for many years since childhood. I’ve known sadness and depression even to the point of contemplating suicide twice. I know firsthand what being trapped in the mind and fear feels like, what oppression and pleasing others feel like. Recently I began knowing freedom, peace, and rest in a way I’ve never known it before. God gave me a glimpse of it in the ending of 2014, ever since, it has been among what I crave and think mostly about. With this freedom, my greatest desire is to not stray from Him! I asked Jesus to be my anchor- which he assured me He will be. I want to use my freedom to live for Him and to please Him no matter how winds toss me here, and there or storms try to uproot me. This is freedom that I’ll have to practice daily but not to end up pleasing myself. So this verse blessed my soul as I see it as Jesus reassuring me again that He will be in control and I’ll be okay. If I can be transparent, until about 3 weeks ago, my biggest fear was stepping out of position and not always walking in God’s will. Then it became ”forgetting about God” after being set free, not intentionally of course but I’m human and I’ve learned to never say never. I’ll never act like I can’t forget about God in my own strength… God warns in Deut 8:10-15 ”When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the Lord for the good land he has given you. But that is the time to be careful! Be aware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations and decrees… For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large, and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock!” This tells me that I can forget about God when all becomes well with me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I can become proud and forget Him after walking in His riches, freedom and glory now that He has changed my past; so I have to be careful. In my strength I can mess up so I rely on His strength. I’m confident that He will never allow me to forget. He will keep putting his desires in me and lead me on the best pathways for my life, because I trust and need Him! I need him even more after living in my Canaan.

And so after meditating on his word, immediately my morning prayer began!

Love, you too can be sure that God is downloading his desires into your spirit as you give your heart, mind, and soul to him or at least leave them open to Him. I’m so very glad that we aren’t moving in our strength or using our efforts (only), we have the Holy Spirit nudging and leading us. Be sure to not forget about our Lord when you too begin experiencing stepping in your land of Canaan. Don’t forget where God has brought you from. Praise Him, thank Him, bless Him, live for Him and worship Him! Oh, how he deserves it! I’m very happy for you! Hugs and hugs.

Prayer: Lord, I bring myself to you today, thanking you for being in control and your help in doing what pleases you. I make myself your available daughter, put your desire in me for today father as well as your word, my daily bread. I willingly give my heart, mind, body, and soul to you. Thank you that as your sheep I will know your voice, I will hear when you speak to me. And with you speaking to me, I rest assured that you will give me the power and desire to do or say what I hear. Thank you Lord! I want to do and be my best for you, for myself and for my neighbor today, in Jesus name I pray. I thank you that you are my anchor, and because you are, you won’t let me stray from your presence. So Lord, help me to continually give back to you, all that you’ve blessed me with. I trust you to keep them safe and to give me in the doses I need daily and, or at the right time. I want my hands, feet, heart, mind, and soul to remain free to keep hearing from you and walk close with you. This is new for me Lord, so teach me how to respond or wait as I release my blessings into your loving care. Thank you for my Canaan and thank you for your precious reminder. In Jesus name, Amen.

Meditation: Deut 8:10-15 ; Phil 2:13

Published by Stephanie

Hello, my name is Stephanie! It is my desire for souls to know Jesus personally; To be freed, uplifted, affirmed, and healed through our Savior. Know that you are loved so much! You have so much worth! You ’belong’ even if the world rejects and sees you as nothing! Despite what people around you, or even what your thoughts say about who you are, Jesus's truth is all that matters, and you are precious to him! Here is a bit of my story! I've been oppressed and ’held captive’ in my own mind for many years! I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. I had low self-esteem, not knowing my own worth. I chased after love, affirmation, attention, and a need to feel wanted- in relationships, to finding fulfillment in things. I didn't know how to love myself or how to receive love! I was sad most of the time to the point where I contemplated suicide twice. Deep inside, I felt a little girl full of joy, harmony, and peace who wanted freedom, and to live a fulfilled life; she was trapped inside. In late 2014 Jesus literally called out to me... and told me I would be okay. I committed my life to him in 2016. Since then, so much has happened! I've been finding shelter under his wings, and my mind is continually being renewed by his truth spoken to and about me. I have found and is still amazed by his perfect, unconditional love for me that follows me daily. I have found a secured relationship that attends to every area of my life. My journey started out rough, but it is BEAUTIFUL! It gets rocky and uncomfortable at times, but it is one filled with lessons, wonder, and crazy peace! It's apart of our walk. I am still healing (I view it as a life long process) some days I take a step forward only to take two backward but I now know to not depend on my strength even during healing as I am never alone. There are also many that I am unlearning and detoxing from my spirit that I grew up learning about. I have opened myself to allowing God to use me as I am, as an outlet to reach his precious ones. The purpose of my blog is to encourage a sincere and intentional relationship with Jesus! To help strengthen our faith and walk in him. To heal, uplift, and remind women of who God says we are. To walk in his identity- in hopes that you will know without a doubt that you matter much more than you can understand! I openly share my testimonies and personal experiences. I mean, it's a bit easier to speak and share from experiences. I firmly believe you will be blessed! Find yourself, find your path, and embark on this beautiful journey of life resting in God. Love, it's perfectly okay to be authentic- about where you are in every area of your life- in a world that forces us to mask our emotions and ’put the best forward, so people can ”see and think” we’ve got it all together.’ It's okay to NOT have it all together. Be true to yourself; this is an important step in being completely honest with our Lord.

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