How My Divorce Pushed Me So Much Closer To God!

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2017 -2018 was a sweet- bittersweet year for me. I got married April 2017 and within months I got divorced. I lost a companion-a great man! A home-Peace of mind, I got rejected, if I can be transparent, mentally,I struggled with where I was and who I truly am. I had to fight through the enemies’s lies of my situation as it did not define me, it wasn’t my final destination because God was not done with me! So mentally I had also engaged in a battle… I knew without doubt that it was Jesus holding me up and bringing me through the storm. On days when I was so weak and tired and all I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry some more, I found myself thanking him for being the one holding me and not the other way around. I invited him in my sad/ depressed days even more to be my strength, minister to me and keep me company and within days, sometimes hours his joy, peace and contentment made their way back to my soul! As time went by, He started healing my heart, my emotions, to the point where all I wanted was him and more of him. The more healed I became the more my hunger for Jesus expanded and the more he was filling me! I began seeing more of who I am, who he says I am, the beauty in my flaws… I realized the void I felt even during my marriage as Jesus kept tugging at my heart, was now filled. He needed me a little closer and there were areas that needed to be exposed, fears that needed to be faced and conquered and layers that needed to be peeled in order to move on to the next level and truthfully, I was comfortable in my marriage, I knew I wanted more for us, for me, to do more, to be more, Jesus was calling me higher but I got comfortable!

I could’ve lost my mind! But my storm has passed for the most part and now I’m entering a better season, my Canaan. During my isolation season, we got so much closer, he showed me walls I didn’t know I had up and took them down, I learnt what it was really like to be completely naked and vulnerable before him, my faith, trust and belief grew so much stronger! My prayer life increased, praising him got sweeter and much more intimate. I definitely saw the double portion he promised me as stated in the book of Job.

I want to encourage the divorced, first, hope for reconciliation, pray for your prodigal spouse and have faith! Let God be your focus and rest in him, its hard but know that he is closer to you than you can ever imagine. And if it does not work in your favor, still rest in him, watch him heal your broken heart and turn things around for your good.Whatever storms you are going through, it’s important to remember that it is God who holds your hand through it, not YOU really that’s holding on to his hands so just let him carry you through them, it’ll pass. There are so much to learn during these times so instead of struggling so much, relax, be still, let him navigate! You’ll be fine 😊

Meditation

Isaiah 41:10, 13. 43:2

Published by Stephanie

Hello, my name is Stephanie! It is my desire for souls to know Jesus personally; To be freed, uplifted, affirmed, and healed through our Savior. Know that you are loved so much! You have so much worth! You ’belong’ even if the world rejects and sees you as nothing! Despite what people around you, or even what your thoughts say about who you are, Jesus's truth is all that matters, and you are precious to him! Here is a bit of my story! I've been oppressed and ’held captive’ in my own mind for many years! I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. I had low self-esteem, not knowing my own worth. I chased after love, affirmation, attention, and a need to feel wanted- in relationships, to finding fulfillment in things. I didn't know how to love myself or how to receive love! I was sad most of the time to the point where I contemplated suicide twice. Deep inside, I felt a little girl full of joy, harmony, and peace who wanted freedom, and to live a fulfilled life; she was trapped inside. In late 2014 Jesus literally called out to me... and told me I would be okay. I committed my life to him in 2016. Since then, so much has happened! I've been finding shelter under his wings, and my mind is continually being renewed by his truth spoken to and about me. I have found and is still amazed by his perfect, unconditional love for me that follows me daily. I have found a secured relationship that attends to every area of my life. My journey started out rough, but it is BEAUTIFUL! It gets rocky and uncomfortable at times, but it is one filled with lessons, wonder, and crazy peace! It's apart of our walk. I am still healing (I view it as a life long process) some days I take a step forward only to take two backward but I now know to not depend on my strength even during healing as I am never alone. There are also many that I am unlearning and detoxing from my spirit that I grew up learning about. I have opened myself to allowing God to use me as I am, as an outlet to reach his precious ones. The purpose of my blog is to encourage a sincere and intentional relationship with Jesus! To help strengthen our faith and walk in him. To heal, uplift, and remind women of who God says we are. To walk in his identity- in hopes that you will know without a doubt that you matter much more than you can understand! I openly share my testimonies and personal experiences. I mean, it's a bit easier to speak and share from experiences. I firmly believe you will be blessed! Find yourself, find your path, and embark on this beautiful journey of life resting in God. Love, it's perfectly okay to be authentic- about where you are in every area of your life- in a world that forces us to mask our emotions and ’put the best forward, so people can ”see and think” we’ve got it all together.’ It's okay to NOT have it all together. Be true to yourself; this is an important step in being completely honest with our Lord.

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