2017 -2018 was a sweet- bittersweet year for me. I got married April 2017 and within months I got divorced. I lost a companion-a great man! A home-Peace of mind, I got rejected, if I can be transparent, mentally,I struggled with where I was and who I truly am. I had to fight through the enemies’s lies of my situation as it did not define me, it wasn’t my final destination because God was not done with me! So mentally I had also engaged in a battle… I knew without doubt that it was Jesus holding me up and bringing me through the storm. On days when I was so weak and tired and all I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry some more, I found myself thanking him for being the one holding me and not the other way around. I invited him in my sad/ depressed days even more to be my strength, minister to me and keep me company and within days, sometimes hours his joy, peace and contentment made their way back to my soul! As time went by, He started healing my heart, my emotions, to the point where all I wanted was him and more of him. The more healed I became the more my hunger for Jesus expanded and the more he was filling me! I began seeing more of who I am, who he says I am, the beauty in my flaws… I realized the void I felt even during my marriage as Jesus kept tugging at my heart, was now filled. He needed me a little closer and there were areas that needed to be exposed, fears that needed to be faced and conquered and layers that needed to be peeled in order to move on to the next level and truthfully, I was comfortable in my marriage, I knew I wanted more for us, for me, to do more, to be more, Jesus was calling me higher but I got comfortable!
I could’ve lost my mind! But my storm has passed for the most part and now I’m entering a better season, my Canaan. During my isolation season, we got so much closer, he showed me walls I didn’t know I had up and took them down, I learnt what it was really like to be completely naked and vulnerable before him, my faith, trust and belief grew so much stronger! My prayer life increased, praising him got sweeter and much more intimate. I definitely saw the double portion he promised me as stated in the book of Job.
I want to encourage the divorced, first, hope for reconciliation, pray for your prodigal spouse and have faith! Let God be your focus and rest in him, its hard but know that he is closer to you than you can ever imagine. And if it does not work in your favor, still rest in him, watch him heal your broken heart and turn things around for your good.Whatever storms you are going through, it’s important to remember that it is God who holds your hand through it, not YOU really that’s holding on to his hands so just let him carry you through them, it’ll pass. There are so much to learn during these times so instead of struggling so much, relax, be still, let him navigate! You’ll be fine 😊
Isaiah 41:10, 13. 43:2